A sort of Reti
by Mysteriouslyabsent
Summary: Slightly better than the title would suggest- hopefully . The surreal fic I wrote for a joke on a caffeine high between 2am and 6am.Involves Reno, Tifa and a few other familiar faces.
1. Chapter 1

**A Sort-Of Reti**

_(A/N: I've uploaded this again because changes in ffnet formatting had rendered it unreadable. The document I originally uploaded, however, has vanished, so I'm using an older version that may or may not be stylistically/grammatically inferior. If so, apologies. As always, no 'canon' except the original game applies)_

**Chapter 1**

He didn't mean to do it. Cut him some slack. The poor guy was drunk, okay?

It all started innocently enough. Apocalypse-not-actually-happening celebrations and free alcohol (blame whoever fitted the locks on the Bar del Sol) meant that for the first time in the last twenty four hours, Reno could cut loose. And cut loose he did, and get quarantined by Elena he did, and Rude, as always, was told to go and try and sober his partner up a bit.

_When will they learn?_

Sighing, Rude made his way across the heaving bar and over to the barricade of stools and surfboards that Elena had speedily arranged. From somewhere within came angry shouts and thumping sounds. Rude idly wondered if the Bar del Sol's insurance policy covered 'Reno'. Not that it mattered, since Shinra owned both the bar and the insurance companies, naturally.

It took some time to destroy Elena's barricade; she'd obviously had a lot of practice setting them up in the past.

"Sssup, pardner?" slurred Reno, when Rude tore down the last stool. Reno was sitting in a crumpled heap, grinning, the remains of Elena's cocktail dripping down his face and soaking into his shirt. Rude gave him a quizzical look.

"'Laney didn't like my chat up line."

Rude nodded.

"Somethin' about 'get your hands off you perv ew ew ew that does it you're going down!'"

Rude nodded again.

"She don't know what she's missin'." Reno sighed. Rude patted his shoulder in silence. Privately, he thought that Elena probably had a very _good _idea, but he still felt a twinge of pity for his partner as a slice of lemon slid down his forehead.

"Life's crap," said Reno. Rude rose an eyebrow; he didn't think Reno was that keen on Elena. Reno laughed. "Not cos of 'Laney, nah. I mean this whole shebang."

"…" Rude prompted.

"Well, y'know, like, everyone's safe now, right? An' they're gonna need _somethin'_ to hate! An' guess what? Shinra sucks, an' now everyone knows it! So what's gonna happen to us, man? I'll tell ya what's gonna happen! They're all gonna try an' kill us is what's gonna happen! The whole damn world!"

_We DID serve the most evil, megalomaniacal company the planet has ever seen… and we killed thousands of innocent people when we dropped the plate on sector seven… and we've been terrorising the Turtle's Paradise regulars for years… and Shinra created Sephiroth…_

"Oh dear," said Rude.

"Exactly! We're gonna haveta go back to bounty huntin' an' crap! I liked sittin' in a cushy office, doin' sweet FA, gettin' paid to do more sweet FA, so I could retire an' do, guess what?"

"…?"

"Fish! Always wanted to be a fisherman…" Reno rolled his eyes. "Whaddya _think_, big guy? But now what? Are we screwed, or are we screwed?"

_ Look on the bright side; everyone else is screwed too._

"But that's just it!" Reno displayed his remarkable talent for reading Rude's mind. "We're here, with all the crappy headlines an' crap-"

_Eloquent…_

"An' meanwhile, guess what? I'll tell ya what! AVALANCHE is what! Who made them the big, bad heroes?"

_?_

"I mean, whaddid they do that was so great, anyway? Prez boy did all the difficult crap, y'know, killin' a coupla Weapons an' breakin' Sephy's barrier-"

_Sephy?_

"An' then the other Weapons're still goin' around right, an' what are AVALANCHE doin'? They're trainin' up chocobos, that's what they're doin'! Gettin' gold ones! An' drownin' all the yellow ones, cos they're not sure whether they're gold or not when they're not, cos they've never seen 'em before, while everyone else is screamin' an' runnin' from the GREAT-BIG-BAD-KILLIN'-MACHINE-ANIMAL-TRANSFORMER-THINGIES!"

_You wouldn't say that to their faces._

"An' THEN they go an' buy a villa, cool as ya please, an' THEN it's time for some more chocobo trainin', an' THEN they decide to go to some cave so they can have a chat with some crazy chick an' THEN they decide it's time to get every E-skill and then they throw a hissy fit when they realise they've missed 'aqualung'-"

_You know about this in a worrying amount of detail…_

"An' even before all this crap, whaddid AVALANCHE do that was so great, anyway? They just nicked a bunch of the Shinra stuff an' gave the black materia to Sephykins!"

_You DEFINITELY wouldn't say that to his face._

"Frickin' frackin' Cloud!" Reno punched a fist against his opposite palm in a dramatic closing gesture. Rude sighed.

"Sephiroth."

"Ahhh, he wasn't such a hard a$$ really. Didja see his hair?"

_Yes, and Tseng saw the business end of his sword._

"I coulda killed him. Hell, 'Laney coulda killed him." Reno shook his head and spat on the barroom floor. Rude pointedly handed him a tissue. Reno shuffled a bit, then wiped up.

"Why didn't you?" Rude asked, eyebrows raised behind his sunglasses. He was used to Reno's big talk. Normally, he couldn't be bothered to reply, and humoured Reno with his silence, but every once in a while it was fun to drive his partner into a corner. 'Every once in a while' generally coincided with 'Reno being an a$$'.

"Ah, didn't get the chance. Too busy spyin' on AVALANCHE." Reno shrugged.

"…?"

"Not as part of the job. No, y'know how Palmer took control of the company after Heidegger an' Scarlet got iced?"

Rude nodded.

"The guy wanted me to go around blackmailin' all the local cake shop people. Free cakes an' crap. Ma owns a cake shop! So, 'course, I went a wanderin', an' I thought it'd make sense to spy on AVALANCHE for ya."

"Me?" Rude was confused, and not just by the revelation of Reno's mother's profession.

"Yeah! Y'know…" Reno nudged Rude in the ribs. "Remember what we talked about in Gongaga?"

"…"

"Ya gotta brain like a sieve! Right, I said, 'the Ancient's a babe', an' then ya said that ya liked the BBB, right?"

_BBB?_

"Big boobs babe! Gawd, do I haveta spell it out? Anyway, I was gonna tell you about if she had a big argument with Cloud an' stuff, but then…"

"No argument."

"… Nope."

"Happy couple."

"Yup. Well, sorta. She is. Don't think Cloud gets the whole 'happy' thing."

"…"

"I'm crap at this, aren't I?"

"Possibly." Rude tried not to smirk. Reno had never really got the hang of empathy, but at least he tried. His efforts were always amusing.

"… Cloud don't know how good he's got it." Reno shook his head. The two Turks sat in contemplative silence. Loud music thundered through the speakers above them, a rock song about killing everything (including oneself, from the sounds of things) playing at full volume. Somewhere in the room, a group of women were shrieking with laughter. Reno sighed, absorbed in thought, and Rude studied his partner. It was dangerous to let Reno think too much. He got worrying ideas.

"…R-" Rude was cut off as Reno leapt to his feet, a jack-o-lantern grin playing across his face. Too late. His long, red spikes of hair stood out around his head like a porcupine masquerading as a tomato. Completely unfathomable, just like Reno, and liable to cause damage.

"I got it!" Reno punched the air, swaying slightly on his feet. "There's just one thing I gotta do, an' then ya can get with Tifa!"

"…?"

"I'll be right back!" Reno raced (staggered) out of the bar, eyes wild. Rude sighed and went to find Elena. She might look a bit Tifa-ish after a few martinis.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

'_SHOCK! HORROR! TRAGEDY!_

_In the early hours of Sunday morning, the leader of AVALANCHE, Cloud Strife, was found dead in a back alley, having apparently received a fatal electric shock. His Ramuh materia has been arrested on charges of murder.'_

"You _didn't_," said Rude, folding up his newspaper and staring at his partner as the red-haired man let out a bark of laughter.

"I _so _did! Toldja Cloud was a wuss!"

"You are high."

"May-be!"

"You are going to regret this in a few hours."

"Nope!"

...

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF IFRIT WHAT THE *&&*%$$ HAVE I DONE?" screamed Reno a few hours later.

Rude didn't bother to say 'I told you so'. He merely sipped his coffee with infinite patience.

...

When Tifa's world had fallen apart two days after the planet was saved, she'd found comfort from a surprising source.

Reno was a good guy at heart.

The others had been loath to trust the Turk at first, but she'd seen something in his eyes. When he had said he was 'sorry for her loss', she could tell he genuinely meant it. And coming from an enemy, that really counted for something.

To try and distract herself from the dull ache in her chest, she concentrated on doing what needed to be done. Rescue work. There were people trapped in the rubble of Midgar, and they needed all the help they could get. She wasn't the only one who'd lost something dear. And Tifa was used to grief; she'd seen a lot of it, she knew she could cope. She couldn't enjoy life any more, no, but she could deal with it, and live it from day to day.

Reno was useful, too. He knew the slums like the back of his hand and it was always good to have an extra person in the party. All the Turks were working on contract for AVALANCHE. Barret moaned about the money, but he was just being silly; 99,999,999gil was pocket change these days.

The other party members had cried their share of tears and were now trying to move on with their lives. Six months had passed. Sometimes Tifa would look at her photograph of Cloud, and stroke the soft line of his jaw and tell him he'd smile if he could see how the world was turning out. Occasionally she wondered if he and Aeris were watching over it together. Mostly she tried to get on with things.

...

"So, partner, when're ya gonna make ya move?" Reno leaned back in his reclining chair, slurping a blue raspberry slushy through a straw in the middle of the weekly Turks meeting. They had chosen to use what was left of Don Corneo's mansion as a temporary headquarters; it was cushy and it annoyed Elena, which pleased Reno no end. And he could have hours of fun hitting the big gong out in the front yard.

"…" Rude 'replied'.

"Well?" Reno pressed. "C'mon, I set her up, now ya just gotta knock her down! It ain't like-"

"There are some things, Reno," Elena cut in icily, glaring at him from her seat (well, futon thingy; Reno had nicked the only chair), "that a person _does not do_. Taking advantage of a grieving woman is one of them."

"But-"

"She's right, Reno." Tseng shook his head, face blank. "A little dishonourable conduct, fair enough, but you have to know where to draw the line."

"WE'RE TURKS!" Reno gave his team-mates multiple incredulous stares. "What the hell is wrong with you guys? An' anyways, Tifa needs cheerin' up, so why not? Otherwise, Cloud died for nothin', an' that's just dumb! Rude, you're gettin' with Tifa whether ya like it or not!"

Rude swapped an exasperated stare with Tseng.

"Reno…" Tseng began, but Elena cut in.

"Typical! You just don't want it on your conscience, do you? That's what this is about! You don't care about Tifa at all! Or Cloud!"

"Of course I don't care about Cloud; I killed him, idiot." Reno raised an eyebrow and Elena launched herself at him in fury. Tseng coughed loudly. Elena removed her hands from around Reno's neck.

"Sorry, boss, but-"

"Sit down, Elena," Tseng muttered impatiently. "Right. It appears that this entire sordid affair has got out of hand. Reno, you've done a monumentally stupid thing, and you can explain yourself in a minute. Elena, I don't think you fully understood me earlier- I don't care about the morals, it's our reputation that matters. AVALANCHE are useful allies and I'd like to keep them that way."

"Reno _killed _Cloud!"

"We have established that. And sit _down_, Elena."

Reno stuck his tongue out at her as she crashed down onto a futon thing, glaring.

"And as for you, Rude," Tseng paused and looked at him, "next time Elena tells you to sober Reno up, for Shiva's sake, do it."

...

"Tifa, when's Mr Reno going to come and see us again?" Marlene swung her legs as she sat in a pew in the ruins of the old church. Tifa was planting flowers- yellow ones for Aeris, blue ones for Cloud.

"Who knows?" Tifa smiled in spite of herself, remembering their last meeting with the Turk. After he mistakenly stepped on all the flowers, she'd blazed at him, only to be met with a humble, 'yes ma'am'. She'd found herself laughing properly for the first time in months. Reno had that effect on people, she thought. He made them smile.

"He owes me money." Marlene shrugged. Tifa took a step back.

"Uh… honey?"

"I said I bet he couldn't climb to the top of the Shinra ruin, and he bet he could, and he fell off halfway up. He owes me five gil."

"… You're a lot like your father…" Tifa felt a stab of pain as she remembered the olden days, when she'd had to act as an intermediary between Barret and Cloud, settling money disputes and making rash promises to the pair of them. She'd never see Cloud's scowl again…

"Tifa…? Are you…?"

"I'm… I'm fine. Come on. Let's go home." She sniffed, picked up Aeris' old basket with one hand and clasped Marlene's small palm with the other.

...

"So, Reno, what exactly happened?" asked Tseng.

"Uh… well… s'kinda fuzzy…" Reno slurped up the last of his slushy and chucked it in the bin. Tseng had his 'no littering' face on.

"Okay, then, what might have happened?"

"Uh… I remember I had my E-mag rod… an' then Cloud was there… or a big yellow Hedgehog Pie, but I'm pretty damn sure it was Cloud… an' then I hit it, him, or somethin', an' he fell down, an' then I ran… Y'know, how I normally operate an' all." Reno shrugged. Tseng sighed.

"So… for the purposes of alibis… if anybody gets around to asking where you were that night, you were hunting Hedgehog Pies, correct?"

"Yup!"

"Right."

"So, Rude dude, ya gonna get with Tifa yet?"

"RENO!" yelled Elena.

"Wha-at?" asked Reno with a shrug. "Now's the time to act!"

Elena regarded him with the sort of expression she usually reserved for women who hit on Tseng. "Do you _have _morals?"

"Nope. Morals suck."

Tseng started laughing, surprising the other three. After about five minutes, he deigned to stop and explain, "A very Rufus statement, Reno."

Reno's eyes grew wide, wide as saucers, wide as very round wide things that are especially notable for their wideness. "You're insultin' prez boy?" he croaked.

"Not at all. I admired Rufus' complete lack of respect for everyone but himself. He'd have made an excellent Turk. But I digress. Reno, Rude is at perfect liberty to go out with- or not go out with- whomever he pleases. So stop bothering him; your voice is annoying."

"Ha!" yelled Elena.

"As is yours." Tseng stood up. "I think that concludes our meeting. Reno, if Tifa finds out what you did, I suggest you get a sex-change, move abroad, and never bother us again. When you die, there'll be paperwork that I can do without." And with that pleasant statement, Tseng left the room.

"What he said." Elena grinned and followed Tseng, tossing her hair. Reno stuck a finger up and then lounged around for a few minutes, fiddling with the settings on his chair.

_Back, forward, back, forward, whee, it went fast just then!_

Rude gave a slight cough.

"Yeah, partner?" replied Reno, still focused on his amazing chair.

"… Uh… about Tifa…"

A huge grin spread across Reno's face.

...

"Reno…" Tifa sighed, smiling. They were sitting atop the ruins of the Shinra building, gazing at the stars overhead. Well, Tifa was gazing; Reno was shuffling around uncomfortably and wobbling the rocks under them, seemingly worried that their makeshift seat would cave in at any moment.

"Reno, relax."

"Uh… yeah…" Reno nodded fast and surreptitiously wobbled another rock. Tifa laughed. Overhead, the stars blazed.

"I'm glad you suggested we sit here. You're right, it's a really nice place." Tifa touched his elbow lightly. There was something about the way he looked in the starlight…

"Oh, yeah, er, Rude, er, mentioned it, an' I thought…" Reno trailed off, biting his lip. "Er…"

"Thank you. For everything." Tifa closed her eyes briefly, picturing Cloud's stern face. He'd want her to be happy, wouldn't he? And over the last few months, spending more and more time with Reno, she'd felt happier than she'd ever felt before in her life. And he was handsome, in a slightly pinched-a bit too thin but so what- nice eyes kind of way.

"Don't mention it! Yeah, Rude's a really great guy, er-"

"It's good that you care about your friends so much." Tifa opened her eyes and placed her palm on the back of Reno's bony hand. "You realise how important friendship is when you face impossible odds."

"Er, yeah… Er, they're not exactly my _friends_, y'know… er…"

"It's okay, Reno. People can change. I believe in you." Tifa beamed. Reno gulped. Midgar glowed. Slowly, Tifa threaded her fingers through his and leaned in closer. "It's okay. I never give up on people." She touched his cheek with her free hand. "Never."

"… Dammit," said Reno, and he leaned in to kiss her.

At that moment, the ruins rumbled and caved in beneath them.

...

"Holy crap…" muttered Reno when he finally regained consciousness after falling down a couple of floors. He started to make his way to what he _thought_ was the exit; it looked like he'd landed in what used to be the prez's office, back in the day. On the other hand, all the floors were mixed up now, and it was dark, so who could tell for sure?

Then he remembered something.

"Yo, Tifa!" he called, and was greeted with a murmur from the other side of the room. He raced towards it, and sure enough, there she was, trapped under a rock or seven.

"Tifa!"

"I'm awake, I'm awake…" she mumbled. "Hang on, I'll just shift these…"

"Let me do it!"

"Yeah, 'cause you can really lift these things, Reno," Tifa snorted, and heaved one of the giant lumps of concrete away. Reno realised there was a _reason_ she was in AVALANCHE.

"Bet I can lift the next one."

"Bet you can't," Tifa scoffed.

He couldn't.

...

They set off down what Reno swore was the corridor that led to the stairway. Tifa remembered the stairs. All million of them. And that wasn't counting the secret stairway that she'd (stupidly, she was prepared to admit now) persuaded AVALANCHE to use the first time they'd entered the Shinra building.

"Reno, just before Meteor, did they still have those stupid keycards?"

"Nah, we scrapped 'em after we realised that AVALANCHE could get in either way. An' prez boy got sicka the paperwork whenever some dumba$$ lost one."

"Ah, right…" Tifa nodded. "I wondered."

"Yeah… man, I wish some of the lights still worked. I ain't got a clue where we are."

"But you said-"

"I lied." Reno laughed. Tifa was torn between the desire to hit him and the desire to giggle. She wasn't the giggling sort, so she went for the former.

"OW!"

"Serves you right." She laughed and, after a bit of grumbling, Reno joined in. After navigating the dark corridor for a few minutes, occasionally swearing as they stubbed their toes on various 'bitsa crap', they reached a doorway. To their surprise, it was framed with a yellow glow.

"Is there-"

"A light on in there? Yeah, must be…" Reno paused for a moment, then shrugged. "It's probably just some weird backup power generator thing, but…"

Tifa tiptoed toward the door and pressed her ear to it. A second later, she spun around.

"There's someone in there! I can hear a whirring noise! Listen, Reno!"

Reno nodded and followed suit. When he turned to face Tifa again, she saw his eyes were wide in the pale light.

"That's not just any whirring noise…" His voice trembled as Tifa heard his heart thud. "It's…"

...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

"… A coffee machine," Reno murmured, and fell back against a wall. Tifa stared at him.

"What…?"

"I think… no, but… but Scarlet said…"

"What, Reno?"

"But then Scarlet's a liar, 'course… an'… but… I mean…"

"RENO!" Tifa yelled, grabbing a fistful of his hair. There was a clatter from behind the door, and she jumped. Had the thing in the other room heard her, or was it just coincidence?

"Reno," she continued, more quietly this time, "what is it? What's wrong?"

He didn't get a chance to answer, because at that moment the door to the adjoining room was flung open. Blinded by the light, Reno and Tifa shielded their faces with their hands, as a figure in the doorway gave a low laugh.

"About time. Tell Tseng he's fired." Rufus Shinra flicked his shoulder-length blonde hair. "I expect my personal bodyguards to make a bit of an effort to come to my rescue."

...

"You may look at the coffee, but you may not drink it, because it is mine. If you want something to drink, wait until it rains. As far as I know, there is no way out, and there will never be. I have been trapped here for over a year. That said, I would face death threats if I showed myself in public, so maybe it's for the best. My computer works. Have you ever tried online gaming? I've built myself a miniature empire. Much less dangerous than the real thing, and less prone to collapse. It's 'Tifa', isn't it? Forgive me, it's been some time since I needed to know the names of the members of AVALANCHE, and I always thought of you as 'the one with the breasts' anyway."

"Thanks."

"Not at all. By the way, I think there's some food in the fridge. No idea how long it will last. I've never needed anything other than coffee to survive, myself. As for entertainment, the television works and you get a nice view through the window. You can see the whole city. I frequently look through that window, and view the city through the tinted glass. Sometimes the view is cloudy, though. Well, I'm sure Reno knows all about the clouds in Midgar."

...

Reno felt his blood freeze over. If that wasn't an 'I-saw-everything-and-I'm-going-to-blackmail-you-with-it-until-you-collapse-into-a-heap-of-quivering-misery' statement, he didn't know what was.

Prez boy had _seen_.

Damn.

...

After a week in Rufus Shinra's company, Tifa was ready to shoot herself. Selfish, egotistical, downright _evil_, the man was unbearable to talk to for more than a couple of seconds. She'd verified his claim that there was no way out of the building. At one point, she'd asked him why he hadn't asked if he could get out the way they'd got in. He'd replied that she and Reno would have already got out that way if they could, because they were too stupid to appreciate his scintillating wit.

Tifa flipped up the top of her PHS, hoping for the thousandth time that day that she would somehow, suddenly, miraculously, have reception. No such luck.

To make things worse, Reno was strangely obedient to Rufus, pandering to his every whim. Tifa felt oddly jealous. What sort of relationship did they have, _exactly_? And he'd been brushing her off recently, trying to keep a strange distance between them. There were only three rooms with working power (Rufus' lounge, his en-suite and his bedroom), and yet she was lucky if she saw Reno twice a day.

"We have to get out of here," said Tifa, cornering Reno as he passed through the doorway between the bathroom and the lounge, and pressing him up against a wall. "We have to get out of here, or that man will die." Tifa cracked her knuckles menacingly, moving closer to the Turk.

"Er..." Reno began, but was cut off by a drawling voice which sent spasms of annoyance through Tifa's body.

"I do _have _a bedroom, you know. Or the bathroom, if you prefer. I find a doorway just a little too public. And while I would love to see you naked, Tifa, the same cannot be said for my dear Reno. Oh, and Reno, I've left a list of your tasks for today on my bedroom desk. Kindly complete them before the hour is up. I think I shall sleep now." Rufus crossed to the couch and lay down. Tifa growled.

"You-"

"Evil excuse for a human being? Oh, yes, I quite agree." Rufus smiled benignly and closed his eyes. "By the way, I am now picturing you naked."

"KILL HIM, RENO, OR I'LL DO IT MYSELF!"

...

"Prez boy, please, I'm beggin' ya-" Reno began. Rufus gave him a sharp glare.

"Don't call me that."

"Kid prez, I-"

"Reno."

"Sorry, _sir_."

"Right."

...

Alone in his bedroom later that night, Rufus sighed. Operation: seduce Tifa Lockheart was not progressing successfully. Why did the only woman within a thousand metres seem impervious to his charms? Great Leviathan (he'd picked that phrase up from Tseng), women used to fall over themselves to sleep with him! He was young, rich, handsome and an utter bastard! Tifa should be sneaking into his bed, despite his best efforts to get some sleep at night! And he hadn't had a woman for over a year…

There was only one thing for it, Rufus decided. Reno had stolen her heart. It was time to tell, and set it free. And if she _still _wouldn't sleep with him, he'd see if he couldn't locate the good ol' manip materia.

...

Reno wasn't stupid. Well, he did stupid things, acted stupid, talked stupid, liked stupid stuff and knew a heck of a lot about stupid, but underneath it all he was a pretty un-stupid guy. IQ of 151, no less.

So when Rufus got that evil gleam in his eye, Reno didn't wait to see how things would turn out. He jumped out of the window instead.

...

Tifa followed, using one of Rufus' white dress thingies as a parachute.

...

Rufus chuckled and got a megaphone out of the cupboard.

...

This tale does not end well. If it's any consolation, Reno managed to slide/fall/climb down the rubble without dying. He and Tifa met at ground level, embraced, and went back to Turks' HQ. Then Reno remembered Rude (he remembered him just as he appeared in the doorway, goddammit) so he and Tifa beat a hasty retreat to an inn in wall market. They were just paying their fare for the night when a smug voice rang out overhead:

"Reno did it! I saw him! He and Cloud got it on, and then their experiments with the E-mag rod went horribly wrong! He murdered Cloud! Kill him! Oh, and Tifa, I'm SINGLE!"

And thus Tifa lost her faith in all men, and Reno lost his head.

Tseng rescued Rufus, and was re-hired.

Rude still fancies Tifa.

Elena still fancies Tseng.

Tseng still fancies Rufus.

Rufus still hates everything.

Such is life.

...

_So! That's my very silly fanfic, written on a caffeine high between 2am and 6am on the 1.9.09! I hope you enjoyed it. __Concrit to do with the pacing, ending etc will be ignored, because I originally wrote this for myself, and then put it up on the off-chance that other people might want to read it; it wasn't written for an audience. __ On the other hand, comments on writing style are fair enough, I guess, as this is how I write. ;)_


End file.
